


I should go

by QueenofSchmoop



Series: Should I stay or should I Go? [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, First Time, Homophobic Language, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Masturbation, Period-Typical Homophobia, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Hatred, Spoilers through Season 2 of Stranger Things, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, sexual fantasies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27456970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofSchmoop/pseuds/QueenofSchmoop
Summary: Will Byers has had enough. He decided to end it all
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Will Byers/Mike Wheeler
Series: Should I stay or should I Go? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2006086
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	I should go

**Author's Note:**

> This is a much darker fic than my usual (but I promise--happy ending!) so please heed the warnings!! Also, I have chosen not to mark this as underage because both Will and Mike are aged up to 16 here. 
> 
> This disregards Season 3 (was written before it even aired) but has spoilers until the end of Season 2. 
> 
> Also, the girl who asked Will to dance at the Snow Ball was credited as “Cute Girl”. She was played by an actress named Marcelle LaBlanc, and in honor of that I’ve chosen to name her Marcy. It is an act entirely unsupported by canon (as far as I know).

Will Byers stood on the edge of the cliff. He looked down. He wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t anxious, which was unusual, as that was his normal state. He felt a weird sense of calm, of peace. Maybe that was the Universe trying to tell him he was doing the right thing. 

He was tired. Tired of being ‘Zombie Boy’, even though his return had been years ago. Tired of being poked and prodded by government men. Tired of everyone pussyfooting around him. Tired of loud noises scaring him, of lights flickering making him panic. Tired of all that. 

But especially tired of fighting his own feelings. His Dad had been right. He was a queer. And worse, he had long ago fallen for his best friend, Mike Wheeler. His love for Mike had, it seemed to Will, always been there. He had attributed it to hero worship or just loving friendship. But when puberty hit, he realized it was more. When he began to fantasize about Mike’s body, about his growing frame, about that so-soft looking hair. About those plump lips and those long fingers touching him. Of them kissing and doing more—so much more. That was when he realized that his love for Mike was filthy. The kind of dirty stuff his father used to yell at him. The stuff that Troy used to tease him about. 

He was, he realized, just a filthy faggot after all. That insight had come at 14. He had tried to fight it, tried desperately to get back to what he was, where he had been. But just when he would think he had suppressed his desires, Mike would undress in front of him or would laugh in that ‘throw his head back’ way and Will would fall all over again. He’d go home and masturbate, thoughts and images of Mike dancing in his head. Then he’d feel so ashamed afterward that he would swear never to do it again. For the next several days after, as well, he’d barely be able to meet Mike’s eyes. 

He had suffered, oh yes. High school had come and it was Hell. Jonathan was gone to NYU. Nancy had gone to college too. She was pursuing investigative journalism, having gotten a taste from uncovering the truth about Barb and the Hawkins Lab. Steve, who had become like a big brother/father figure to them, had also gone off to college. And then come home near the end of freshman year, having flunked out. He had worked at his father’s insurance firm for a while but then he’d gone through training and become Hopper’s newest deputy. 

Eleven—Jane, he reminded himself—had been adopted by Hopper. For a while he thought Hopper and his Mom would end up together but it just never seemed to gel. Sometimes, when he was really low, Will blamed himself. He thought his mother could never give her heart again after Bob’s death. And he felt that was his fault. He had given in to the Mind Flayer, been a spy, and brought the demodogs to the Lab. 

He sighed, looking down at the water. The peaceful feeling was being swamped by his guilt, by his sadness. Yes, this was best, he had decided. He was a burden to his mother, who still looked at him as if she was constantly worried about him. His brother had a life now, away from Hawkins, and seemed happy. His friends—Lucas and Max had been solid for years now. Dustin had, ironically, ended up dating Marcy, the girl Will had danced with at the Snowball. They had been together almost as long as Lucas and Max. 

Eleven and Mike had dated for almost a year but had ended it, having decided they worked better as friends. Will flinched as he remembered how happy he was to hear the news, then the guilt he felt. He wanted Mike to be happy and he knew his best friend wasn’t…what he was. Wasn’t a homo. Mike had dated a few girls since then but not for very long. 

Will was 16 and had still not had a date—unless you counted the multiple times that Dustin and Lucas had set him up with some random girl. He didn’t want to date girls, didn’t want to inflict what he was on them, he had decided. He had withdrawn from the group slightly, something he was saddened to realize they had not even noticed. He spent most of his time in his room, drawing. 

Drawing Mike, if he was honest. He had an entire sketch pad devoted to his love. He kept it hidden and would try to stay away. But, inevitably, he would pull it out and draw that beloved boy again. Face shots, full body sketches, loving close ups of Mike’s eyes, his lips, his hands. He poured all his love—and, he admitted, his lust on occasion—into those pictures. 

On his 16th birthday, after the party his mother had thrown him, he had gone into his room and pulled out the sketch book. All his friends had been there. Jonathan had come home, even though he had school. Steve had also shown up, Hopper, Eleven, everyone. Will had never felt so alone as being in that room full of friends and family. When they sang to him as his mother carried the cake in, when he blew the candles out, as Dustin teased him to know what he wished for. He hadn’t dared voice his wish. Not for fear that it wouldn’t come true but because he knew that it would upset everyone. 

For he had wished that he would die. That his suffering would end. That life would cease. He had covered it up, however, an old pro at it by now. He had pasted a smile on his face and joked, but the laughter never touched his eyes. And no one noticed. When everyone, except his family, had left he had gone to his room and looked at that sketch pad. Filled with pictures of Mike. He had not wept, as he once might have. His heart felt frozen. He had put the pad away and gone to bed, not realizing how much he hoped not to wake up the next day. 

He had, however. And gone on living. It was now several months since that day. It was summer and the cliff had called him. It had done so before but never like this. Jonathan had come home before his last year of college to announce that he and Nancy had reconnected and were dating again. Lucas and Max were still crazy in love, Billy having left their lives long ago. Steve was doing well at the Sheriff’s office. Dustin and Marcy were going strong too. And Mike? Mike was busy playing the field. He seemed to have a different girl on his arm every weekend. 

Things had come to a head just a few hours ago. Will had a summer job bagging at the grocery store. El often had him use his employee discount to get Eggos for her. She was still crazy about them and said Hopper never bought enough. She had come out of her shell, too, but often said that boys were ‘silly’ and had not dated yet. 

Will had been restocking the can goods when he heard Jennifer Hayes and her friends giggling in the next aisle. He tuned them out until he heard his name. 

\--“Will Byers?”

Thinking they were trying to get his attention, he turned. But they were still one row over. He didn’t even know how they’d seen him. 

They kept talking. 

“Oh, he’s a big homo, c’mon! Everyone knows that. He makes moon eyes at Mike Wheeler when he thinks no one is looking. He’s been crushing on him for what seems like forever.”

Will’s heart about stopped. Other people knew?! They’d seen?! He wanted to die right then and there. 

“They’re friends,” one of the girls protested. 

“Yeah, butt buddies,” Jennifer laughed hard. 

“Hey! Michelle dated Mike.” One of the girls said. 

“Yeah and she said it didn’t last more than three days. Wheeler never dates anyone for long. Probably because his _boyfriend_ wouldn’t like it!” Jennifer giggled. 

“Hush!” The other girl said. “Doesn’t Byers work here?”

“Who cares what some fag thinks?” Jennifer said scornfully. “Everyone knows that his family would have been better off if he had stayed dead, anyway.”

Will dropped the cans he had been holding and ran right out of the store. He thought he heard someone calling after him but he did not stop. He went home, to find it blissfully empty. He had wanted to cry, to scream. But he couldn’t. He felt trapped in himself, inside his own skin. He found himself leaving his house, going to Castle Byers. It was falling apart now. He was taller than the flag, now. He stared at it, thoughts swirling. And found his feet leading him here, to the cliff. He had come here with the Party just two weeks ago. They had celebrated the start of summer by hanging out here. Will remembered flushing and hurriedly looking away when Mike had stripped off his shirt and asked El to put suntan lotion on his back. 

He had come to realize that everyone would be better off without him. What was he still even on this Earth for, anyway? He only brought pain and suffering to people’s lives. His father’s, his mother’s, Jonathan’s. Now Mike was being painted with the ‘gay’ brush because of his association with Will. He couldn’t stand that. Couldn’t bring Mike that stigma, that pain. 

He waved a foot over the space off the cliff. Yes. Best to jump. Sink below the water with barely a ripple. His friends would miss him but then likely be relieved not to have to deal with his crap anymore. His mother would mourn but move on, maybe even finally get together with Hopper. As for Will himself, his pain would end. 

He moved forward, not even realizing he was crying. He wondered what it would feel like--drowning. Would it be quick? Would he suffer? Perhaps he should. He tilted his body over to look at the blue water below. Should he count to three and then jump or just step off? He’d heard the tale of Mike’s jump off of here and decided to emulate it. He spared a thought for his mother. Perhaps he should have left a note? No, he shook his head. What could he say? _Sorry you have a queerboy for a son? Sorry for all the pain? You’ll be better off without me?_

No, better to go quietly. He reached out a hand, as if to accept his fate. 

“Will!” 

He turned, startled. There, coming up the gravel road, was Mike. For a moment, he thought he was hallucinating. Giving himself a chance to say goodbye, perhaps? 

“Will, what are you doing?” Mike asked, angry and panicked. 

“What does it look like?” Will asked, almost indifferently, turning back to the edge. 

“Looks like you’re about to be an idiot and jump.”

Will smiled slightly. “Give the boy a prize,” he said softly. 

“What? Why?”

Will’s smile became a laugh. “Got a year?”

“If it keeps you from jumping, yeah, I do. Will, for God’s sakes, why?”

Something inside Will broke. “Why?” He all but shouted as he turned back to Mike. “Why? Because I’ve been through more in my life in 16 years than most have in 100. Because I’m still broken, even after all this time of being out of the Upside Down. Because I bring nothing but pain to my friends and family and this is the only way I can think to end that. Because,” and here the tears started again and he struggled to speak. He might as well be fully damned before he jumped. Earn that ticket to Hell. “Because, I’m goddamn in love with you, Mike Wheeler, and have been for so long I’m not sure I remember a time when I wasn’t! Because I’m a filthy, dirty queer who jacks off to fantasies of you late at night in my room. Who keeps a sketch book of you where I draw picture after picture of you, yes, including naked. Because I heard Jennifer talking in the store just now,” he waved a hand, not even seeing Mike anymore through his tears, “who thinks we’re ‘butt buddies’ and this is the only way I can think to save you. Why, Mike? Because the world will be so much better off without me. I have no reason to stay. So I should go.”

He turned back around, no longer planning on stepping slowly off but now tensing to jump. 

“You…you love me?” Mike’s voice sounded shocked. 

Will turned back, surprised. He swiped at his eyes. “That’s what you got out of all that?” He asked. 

Mike looked flabbergasted. “You love me?” He asked again. 

Will sighed. “Yes, Mike. I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be?”

“And you think killing yourself will help me? How!” Mike shouted, coming closer. 

Will backed up a bit, to the very edge. “No one will think we’re—“

“What if I want us to be?!” Mike shouted. 

Will stopped moving completely. “….what?”

“Jesus, Byers. I’m having a heart attack.” Mike put his hand over his heart. “I finally find out you like me like I like you and—“

“What?” Will whispered. Maybe this was all a dream? Maybe he’d died and this was Heaven? No, that couldn’t be. It must be Hell. A Hell where Mike pretends to like him and then yells that he’s joking? 

“First, get away from there. Then we’ll talk.” Mike held out his hand. 

Will stared. 

“Will. Please. For me?”

Inhaling sharply, Will shot him a look. “You play dirty.”

“Whatever works,” Mike agreed and waved his hand. 

Will stepped forward and took it, letting Mike pull him in close, hugging him tight. He turned his face away, ashamed as his body responded to having the boy he loved hold him like this. 

“Hey, Will—“

“Let go,” he said, pushing away, face on fire. 

Mike was about to protest then glanced down. He looked back up, startled. Then back down. “Will? For me?”

Will’s face got, somehow, even redder. “I told you, I’m a total homo.”

“Stop that! Stop calling yourself names!” Mike sounded furious. 

“Why? It’s what I am. What others call me. Troy, Jennifer, others too I bet.”

“You’re gay, yes,” Mike agreed, “but those words are bad.”

“I’m bad,” Will admitted, almost sighing at saying it out loud. 

“Are you?” Mike asked. “What about me? Am I bad too? Because I like you?”

Will looked up. “No. Not you. Never you, Mike. You’re confused.”

“I’m not. Will, I love you too.”

“Of course you do.” Will’s tone was dull. “Because you’re Mike and you love your friends.”

“I do love my friends. But I’m in love with you.”

Will’s eyes went wide. Then he felt the tears. He pushed away. “You bastard,” he hissed. “I’d expect that of Troy or one of those jerks. But for you to pull a prank like that—!”

“It’s not!” Mike shouted and pulled Will to him, holding him against his body. “Feel!”

Will went stock still as he felt Mike’s erection against his thigh. “…Mike?”

“I love you. I’m in love with you. I want you. All of the above.”

Will couldn’t help it, he laughed. It was strange, how happy it sounded. Mike could always do that, bring that happy side out. “I don’t understand,” he admitted. 

“We’ll talk it out. I promise. But please, let’s get away from here.” Mike looked fearfully over Will’s shoulder, back at the edge. “Please?”

Will hesitated and then nodded. “My house?”

“Anyone home?”

“No.”

“Perfect.”

They headed that way. They got to the Byers home and Will let them in. He was going to sit down in the kitchen or living room but Mike led him straight back to the bedroom. They sat on the bed. 

“Tell me.” It wasn’t a demand but also not quite a plea. 

Will couldn’t help it. It all came spilling out of him. At one point he got up, dug the sketch book out of the hiding place and handed it over. He watched Mike flip through it as he continued to talk. He saw Mike stop in a couple of places and, from memory, knew exactly what he was looking at. He kept going, not letting himself think of the shot of Mike’s naked butt that was in there. 

Finally, he ran of words. He finished with, “I couldn’t take it anymore. I just wanted it to end. So I went to the quarry.”

“You were going to jump.” Mike’s voice was so soft, so quiet. 

“Yeah.” 

Silence stretched out. Mike looked up. There were tears on his cheeks. “Jesus, Will. I almost lost you!”

“I didn’t think you would care,” Will admitted. “Not for long, anyway.”

“Idiot. I’d be devastated! Even if,” he met Will’s eyes, “if I didn’t love you like that.”

Will blushed and had to look away. It still felt like a cruel trick. 

“My turn,” Mike said, scooting forward. He reached out and took hold of both of Will’s hands. 

Will couldn’t help it. He turned and looked at Mike. “Go ahead.”

“My feelings for you have been changing for a while. I’ve been noticing you,” he paused awkwardly and blushed a little, “for a while now. You’ve gotten really cute and sexy, Byers.”

Will laughed scornfully. 

“It’s true! I can’t even remember when I first started taking looks at you. I thought for sure I was being so obvious. I thought I was going crazy or something. So I threw myself into dating girls.”

“I noticed,” Will said dryly. 

“I’m sorry.” Mike lifted a hand and brushed his fingers against Will’s cheek. “If I hurt you.”

Will just nodded, both admitting it had hurt and that he accepted the apology. He said, “keep going.”

“By the time I was 15 I realized that girls were good but I couldn’t get my mind off you. I thought it had something to do with, you know.”

“The Upside Down?”

“Yeah. Losing you. But that wouldn’t explain away the dreams. The fantasies.” Mike’s cheeks, usually so pale, turned pink. 

“Fantasies?” Will squeaked. “You’ve had fantasies about me?”

Mike’s cheeks turned from pink to red. “Yes,” he answered in a low voice. 

“What kind?” Will needed to know. Were they soft and cuddly or…? 

“The sexy kind.”

“Naked?”

“Us? Yeah. Rolling around on my bed,” Mike muttered. “Um, you sitting on my lap.”

Will’s eyes widened. “Naked?” He asked again, the blood rushing to his nether regions. 

Mike nodded. He still hadn’t moved his hands from where they were holding Will’s. If anything, the grip had tightened. “I don’t really know the…mechanics,” he admitted, “of having sex with a guy. So it never got that far.”

“But we did some things? In your fantasies?” Will asked. 

“Some.”

Will figured it would help if Mike knew what he’d thought of. “I told you I’ve had fantasies about you, Mike. Dirty ones.”

“You said.”

“In some of them, we jerked each other off.”

Mike’s breath started to come faster. He looked Will right in the face, not turning away. 

“In others, I gave you a blow job.”

“Jesus,” Mike burbled. 

“In the hottest ones, the dirtiest ones,” Will disclosed, “you put me on my back, got between my legs and we did it that way.”

Mike exhaled hard. “Did you like it?”

Will grew suddenly shy. “I did,” he said, glancing down. 

“Was it always, you know? Sex.”

“Of course not. Sometimes we just made out. Sometimes,” Will said, wistfully, playing with Mike’s fingers, “we would just lay there, kissing occasionally. I’d play with your hair,” he confessed.

“You want to play with my hair?” Mike asked, sounding weirdly pleased. 

“Yeah. I love your hair.”

“I love yours too,” Mike told him. “So silky looking. You’ve got no idea how many times I’ve almost run my fingers through it. Wanted to touch it.”

Will took a deep breath. “We’re getting sidetracked. So, you thought sexy thoughts about me,” he prompted. 

Mike looked unmollified but he capitulated. “They tormented me. Especially as I didn’t think you liked met that way.”

“So you dated every girl on the planet.”

Mike raised one of Will’s hands and kissed it.

Will shivered slightly, absurdly touched. 

“Not every girl on the planet,” Mike finally said. “But a lot. Trying to find the female version of you, I think.”

“Did you?”

“No. Even if I did, it wouldn’t have mattered. I love you. I’m in love with you.”

Will wished he could believe that. He wanted. Oh, how he wanted to! 

Mike continued. “I saw you pulling away from us, from the Party.”

Shocked, Will asked, “you did?”

“Yes. How could I not? You grew distant. Never seemed to be happy anymore. I thought you’d figured me out. That you didn’t want me.”

“Mike,” Will shook his head. “What person in their right mind wouldn’t want you?”

“A question better put from me to you,” Mike shot back at him. “Anyway, I thought I’d ruined things. So I stayed away. I tried so hard to shove my feelings down. But you seemed to get farther and farther away from me.” 

Will, feeling ashamed now, lowered his head. Mike’s hand cupped his chin and lifted it up again. He met Mike’s eyes, shining with tears. 

“It ripped my heart to shreds, Will, to think I was driving you away. I resolved to keep at least our friendship. I tried so damn hard!” Mike half shouted. “Nothing I did seemed to make things better. And I was too afraid of driving you away completely to speak up.”

Will knew exactly how he felt and tried to convey that to him through his eyes. Mike, as ever, seemed to understand. 

“I resigned myself to things.”

“So did I,” Will interrupted softly. Then he asked, “why did you come looking for me today, Mike?” He realized something, “wait, how did you find me?”

“Eleven,” Mike answered. “We were hanging out at my house.” Neither Mike nor Eleven had jobs that summer. Dustin was working at the library, while Lucas had gotten a job at the local movie theater. “She suddenly reached over and put her hand on my arm. She said ‘Will’ in that way she has.”

Will knew it well. 

“She said ‘the Quarry. Hurry!’ I thought you were in trouble. I thought maybe Troy or someone was hurting you. I jumped in my car and drove so fast I’m surprised Hopper or Steve didn’t bust me. I had to ditch my car.” He laughed suddenly. “It’s still sitting there.”

Will laughed a little too. “We’ll go back for it.”

Mike nodded and continued. “I ran up, half expecting to find them beating you up. Will, when I saw you, standing there on the edge, and I knew what you were doing, what you planned—“ He stopped abruptly. “My heart about stopped.”

“I thought it would be best.” Will declared.

“I know. But Will, it’s not. I can’t lose you. Not when we just found each other.”

“Mike…”

“I know you think it’s wrong, you think it’s dirty, but that’s your Dad talking! That’s Troy and all the other mouth-breathers, the assholes, who made you think that. But you love me and I love you and how can love be wrong? How can it be dirty?” He pulled Will’s hands up to his face and held them there. “Will, you can’t leave me. I just found you again.”

Will was crying now. “I don’t want to leave you now, Mike.”

“You don’t?”

“No. If you’re telling the truth—“

“I am! I swear!”

“I want to believe you are,” Will put in. “If what you say is true, if you really do love me, that would make it worth it.”

“Make what worth it?” Mike asked. 

“Everything,” Will said vehemently. “Life, living, all of it. I think I could handle it if I had you, had your love. But Mike, how can you be sure--?”

“I’m sure. I know,” he said heatedly. He paused, then, “but maybe I need to show you,” he said, almost to himself. He leaned in close, lowering their hands. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he announced. 

Will went as still as a stone. He watched as Mike got closer and closer. He kept his eyes open as Mike’s mouth brushed his. He let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding in. They stared at each other for a long moment, then they both moved as one. They clashed together, mouths meeting in a searing kiss. Falling over, down to the bed, Will wrapped his arms as tightly as he could around Mike, holding on. Mike answered with an embrace just as heated. When they turned slightly, Will ended up on his back. Will couldn’t help it—he moaned. 

Mike answered it with one of his own and plunged his tongue into Will’s mouth. They arched against each other, heat flooding between them. As Mike’s heavy body pressed down on his own, Will broke the kiss to whimper, “Mike, Mike,” over and over. 

Mike peppered Will’s face with a series of little kisses. “Will. My sweet Will.”

“Am I?” Will asked. “Am I yours?”

“I want you to be. But it’s your decision.”

He wanted that. How he wanted that! But did he dare believe? Did he dare take this happiness? He looked up, into Mike’s eyes above him, and saw only love and trust. “I’m yours,” he whispered. “I’ve always been yours. Since that day in kindergarten, I think.”

Mike pulled back slightly. “That long ago?”

“I loved you even then,” Will told him, brushing that hair back and running his fingers through it because he could. He watched Mike’s eyes close with pleasure, like a cat being petted. “Only as a friend, back then. But even then you owned my heart, Mike Wheeler.”

Mike looked touched. “I can’t say that I felt it that early but it’s been brewing for a while for me too.”

“Oh?”

Mike hesitated. 

Will knew what that meant. “The Demogorgon?”

“Yes. When it took you, when I thought you had died? Worst time of my life, Will.”

“I’m here.” He pulled Mike down to him, snuggling him. “I’ll never leave you again unless you want me to go.”

“Promise?” Mike said, from his collarbone. 

Knowing what the word meant to the Party, after El and everything, Will nodded, though Mike couldn’t see. “Promise.”

“No more of this suicide crap?”

“No more,” Will swore. 

“Or thinking you’re dirty or wrong?” Mike said, pulling back enough to look at him. When Will hesitated, he shook his head. “You’re not! Just like I’m not.”

“Your parents…?” It suddenly occurred to Will. Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler weren’t exactly the most open minded people on the planet. 

“Yeah, don’t think I’ll be telling them until I’m at least 18. That way, when they kick me out of the house, I can just move in with you. If you’re not off to some fancy art college, that is.”

Will shook his head. “My art’s not good enough for that.”

Mike sat back on his thighs. “Of course it is.” He grinned. “I especially liked certain drawings of me.”

Will blushed. Mike scrambled up and got the pad, bringing it back to the bed. Will sat up as Mike flipped through it quickly, obviously looking for a specific picture. But Will’s hand came down partway through and stopped him. “This one,” he said softly. 

Mike stopped. It was a sketch of Mike asleep, looking youthful and happy, all cares washed away. He glanced at Will. 

“It’s my favorite,” Will admitted. “I drew it from memory. It was when we were hanging out at your house. You fell asleep on the sofa in the basement. Lucas and Dustin were arguing with the girls about something. I kept staring at you. I couldn’t stop. It was like,” he gulped, “like I was trying to memorize you. Imprint you in my memory.”

“You did a damn good job,” Mike told him, leaning over and kissing his cheek. “Made me look good.”

“Just drawing what I saw,” Will muttered. 

“It’s stuff like this that will get you into any art college in the country, Will,” Mike told him. He flipped the pages again and stopped on a shot of a shirtless Mike in the water, hair glistening. “And stuff like this,” he added, voice growing husky, “will get you kissed.”

“Will it?” He asked, coyly. Coy! Him! 

Mike kissed him. “See?”

“I do.” He realized, to his horror, that he was crying again. 

“Will, why are you crying?” Mike asked, alarmed. 

“I…I think I’m happy,” he mused to himself. “Yes. Happy.”

Mike smiled sweetly. “I’m glad.” He pulled Will to him and hugged him. When he let go, he caught the sketch pad about to fall off his lap. It had turned over and now he flipped it back around. It had opened to the picture of Mike’s naked ass. He raised an eyebrow as he looked at Will. 

Blushing, Will started to stammer. “I…I didn’t mean—“

“You better have meant it. I happen to have a great butt, Byers.”

Will stopped then burst out laughing. “You do,” he agreed. Another secret came spilling out of him, “I’ve always wanted to touch it.”

Mike’s eyebrows went up this time. “Yeah?”

Will couldn’t say it again. He ducked his head. He was looking down as he saw Mike pick up his hand and gently move it around his back. Until it was sitting right on the top curve of Mike’s ass. Will pulled his hand away quickly. 

Mike looked stricken. “I’m sorry! I’m moving too fast, aren’t I? We should be going at whatever speed you want, you need.”

Will cut off his babble with a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I just…I’m having trouble believing this is my life. A short time ago I was so down I was ready to kill myself. Then the guy I’ve been crushing on for years tells me he likes me back? And we make out? I’m half convinced I did jump and somehow ended up in Heaven.”

“Don’t joke!” Mike snapped. “Not about that. I lost you once. Never again!”

“Sorry.” Will felt himself withdrawing from the rebuke. 

Mike was instantly contrite. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. It just, when it comes to you dying, Will, I can’t even think about it.”

“I won’t mention it again,” Will swore. 

“No, I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. And,” he grew stern, “you ever get to this point again, you tell me. Understand?”

Will nodded. “Yes, Mike.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Mike suddenly lit up. “Hey! I’ve got it!” He jostled them both in his hurry to get up. “C’mon!”

“What? Where?”

“Eleven! She’s the answer.”

“She is?” Will followed his friend out the door. “To what?”

“To prove to you that I’m telling the truth. That this is real.”

Will stopped dead as they ran. “You want to tell her?”

Mike stopped a bit ahead and came back. “Will, I’m pretty sure she knows already. She’s Eleven.”

Will conceded that. If anyone knew, it was her. He followed Mike back to the Quarry. Mike, he saw, was keeping himself between Will and the edge. They made their way back down, spotting Mike’s car. They got in, Mike making Will buckle up. 

“Can’t have anything happen to you,” Mike said when Will gave him a look. 

Will smiled, touched. 

They drove to the Wheeler house. Mr. Wheeler, of course, was at work. Mrs. Wheeler was out shopping or something. Mike wasn’t sure. She’d taken Mike’s little sister with her. They went in the back way. 

Eleven was sitting there on the sofa, calmly eating an Eggo. 

“Can’t believe you’re still crazy about those,” Mike said, casually as he crossed the room. 

Will had stopped just inside the door, suddenly panicking. What if El did know and suddenly wanted Mike back? What if she saw the dirty thoughts and called him a perv? What if—?

“Will?” Mike’s voice was soft. He’d come back and was standing in front of him, hands on Will’s shoulders, fingertips stroking through the fabric. 

“Stupid.” Eleven’s voice cut through them both. 

“What is?” Mike asked, not looking away. 

“Will.”

Mike instantly turned. “What? Will is not stupid! El, you take that back, right now!”

She stood. “He is. For thinking those things.”

Mike stopped. “What things?”

She looked at Will. 

He looked at Mike. “Stupid things,” he agreed, though in his heart he thought they weren’t. 

“Stupid,” El said again. 

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay. Stupid. That’s me. I’m just a—“

“Stop!” Mike said, turning back to him and grabbing him. “Stop putting yourself down. Will, please. You’re so amazing and you’ve got the biggest heart and you’re so strong,” he saw Will about to protest and ran over it, “you are. You survived in the Upside Down for ages and you survived the Mind Flayer and you are incredible. So stop, okay?”

Will was crying again. Mike’s eyes were wet too. 

Eleven came up to them and put her arms around them both. “Friends don’t lie,” she said. “Friends or boyfriends,” she added, smiling slightly. 

Will and Mike both laughed at the same time. 

“Is that what we are?” Mike asked her. 

Will suddenly held his breath. 

She looked at Mike. “Are you?”

Mike looked at Will. “I hope so.”

“So do I.”

“Then you are.” She shook her head, removing her arms. “Boys are dumb.”

“Hey!” They both shouted at her. 

She walked away, heading up the stairs. She stopped halfway and turned back. “Will. Everything Mike said is true. Mike, everything Will said is true. Stop being stupid.” Then she went upstairs and they heard the TV turn on. 

They looked at each other for a long moment then both broke up laughing.

“She sure told us!” Will giggled. 

“Having your ex-girlfriend tell you something like that,” Mike laughed. 

When they’d laughed themselves out, they went to the couch and sat down. Will tentatively looked at Mike, who pulled him over and cuddled him close. Will sighed into the embrace. 

“We should tell the others.”

Will stiffened. 

“They’ll be like El, fine with it.”

“I’m not sure about Max,” Will confessed. “Or Lucas.”

“Lucas will be cool. Max,” Mike mused, “we’ll deal with it if we have to.”

“Just the Party?” Will asked. 

“Of course.” He kissed the top of Will’s head. “What about your Mom?”

Will hesitated. 

“Your choice,” Mike told him. “But she loves you, Will.”

Would she? If she found out Lonnie was right? The doubts must have shown because Mike kissed him for a long time. 

“Stop kissing! You’re missing the show!” Eleven yelled at them from upstairs. 

They both laughed and headed up, sitting close together but not like they had been. They all watched some TV until Will sat bolt upright.

“Will?” Mike was instantly over by him. 

“Oh shit!” Will shouted. “My job!” He had just run out, not told anyone anything. Hell, he’d still been wearing his apron when he got home, though he’d discarded it there. 

Mike started to laugh. “That’s what you’re worried about?”

“I’m so fired,” Will told him.

“Tell them you were sick,” Mike said. “You had to throw up.”

“Gross,” El said, not looking away from the TV. 

Will got up and instantly went to the phone, calling the store. He listened and did some talking and then came back after hanging up. 

“Well?”

“They said I’m on probation but I still have a job,” Will said weakly. 

Mike hugged him. “See? Nothing to worry about.”

Just then a door slammed outside. Mike and Will flew apart, then Mike made a face. He moved closer. 

“What are you doing?”

“We’re friends,” he pointed out. “This is more natural.”

They didn’t have time to move as Karen came in, carrying bags. She huffed. “No one help,” she said. 

“What’dya do?” Mike asked, heading out. “Buy out the store?”

“Mike!” Karen shouted after him. 

Will had followed. Holly, now a sturdy toddler, was struggling with her one bag she was trying to carry. 

“Mike,” she said his name as she saw him. 

“I got it, Hol,” he said, taking her bag. The three of them helped Mrs. Wheeler put stuff away. Then they headed back downstairs. Sometimes, Will thought, he felt like the Wheeler basement was his second home. 

“Wanna stay for supper, you two?” Mike asked, mostly looking at Will. 

“Hopper will be waiting,” El said, already putting on her jacket. 

“My mom will be expecting me,” Will said, thinking about how differently this day was originally going to go. Half of him wanted to stay here, with his boyfriend—what a great word!—and put off seeing his mom. But he knew he had to. It would be hard enough, sneaking around with Mike. He didn’t want to sneak behind her back too. 

Mike walked them both out. As Eleven disappeared, Mike looked at Will. “Call me later?”

“Sure.” 

They both stood there, desperate to kiss, to reassure, to touch. Mike glanced around. “I love you,” he said quietly.

Will started. “I love you too,” he replied, just as inaudibly. He finally made himself turn away and head out. Mike had offered to drive him home but he wanted to walk. He needed to clear his head. He made it home just before his Mom, who came in looking tired. Will let her talk as they prepared supper. He answered a few questions about his work vaguely. When they were done eating, his mother asked, “going to go draw, sweetie?”

That had been his usual for so long. He shook his head. “Actually, can I talk to you about something, Mom?”

She instantly looked more alert. “Sure, honey. You can talk to me about anything. You know that.”

He wrung his hands. “It’s hard. And it might make you mad.”

“Did you get in a fight at school?”

“No. Mom,” he almost chickened out. “I like Mike.”

“I know, Will.” She sounded confused. “Did you and Mike have a fight?”

“No. The opposite. Mom, Dad was right about me. I’m a queer. I’m in love with Mike. And today, he told me he loves me too.”

His mother stared at him for so long he wasn’t sure she had even heard him. 

“Mom?”

“Will, are you sure?”

“That I’m gay? Or that I love Mike?”

“All of it.”

He met her eyes. “I’ve known I like guys for a while, Mom. I’ve hated myself for it, honestly. As for Mike, I’ve always loved him. A few years ago I realized it was…more than friendship.”

“You said he loves you back?” She sounded surprised. 

“He told me. I believe him.” Some part of him still doubted but he smushed that part down hard. 

“Mike’s only dated girls,” she pointed out. 

“I know. But he loves me.” He leaned forward. “Mom? Do you hate me now?”

“What?” She had been looking distracted. “Of course not, Will! I’m your mother. I could never hate you.”

“Even though I’m gay?”

“I don’t pretend to understand what that all means,” she confessed, “but you’re my son. I love you. If you were to suddenly announce you wanted to run off to France and become a can can dancer, I’d love you.”

He didn’t let himself be distracted. “But I’m gay.”

She leaned in. “Will, listen to me. Lonnie, your Dad, he…well, you’re old enough to know now. He’s an asshole. And a bigot, too, at least about this. I love you. Whether you’re gay or not. If this makes you happy, then I’m 100% behind it. Behind you.”

That was it. Will started crying, sobbing really. She hugged him close and murmured into his ear. When he finally pulled back, she had a hankie waiting. 

“Do you think Jonathan--?”

“I think your brother will love you no matter what.”

He smiled. 

“Should we call him?”

“Is this something you tell someone over the phone?” Will asked. 

“He’d want to know as soon as possible, I think.” She got up and went to the phone. She looked back. “Do you want me to tell him?”

“No. I should tell him.”

“All right. I’ll talk to him first.” She dialed and asked for Jonathan Byers. “Jonathan! It’s Mom. No, no emergency. Will’s fine. But he has something to tell you.” She held out the phone. 

Will took it. “Jonathan?”

“Will! What’s up, little brother?” Jonathan was trying to sound lightheartedly but was obviously worried. 

Now that it came time, the words stuck in his throat.

“Will? What is it?” Jonathan asked. 

“I’m gay,” he blurted out. Silence. For so long he thought the call had been disconnected. But there was no dial tone. “Don’t hate me,” he whispered. 

“Oh Will. I don’t hate you. I’m so happy you’ve finally admitted it. To me and yourself.”

Will drew in a sharp breath. “You knew?!”

“I had my suspicions. They became pretty sure once I was in New York. Will, I have lots of gay friends here at college. It’s not such a big deal here. Love is love, after all. And being normal? Who needs that?”

Will flashed back to their talk on his bed so many years ago. “Kenny Rogers.”

Jonathan laughed. “Kenny Rogers. You’re Bowie now, for sure. Hey, he’s bisexual, they say.”

“What’s that?”

“When you like both boys and girls.”

Was that what Mike was, Will wondered? 

“So, has Mike pulled his head out of his ass and figured out he loves you too?”

Will could not have been more surprised if a demodog had burst through the door. “Jonathan?” He croaked the name out. 

“C’mon, Will. Once I realized you liked guys it was pretty obvious, your feelings for Mike. Figured he was straight but lately he’s been sneaking looks. He was eyeing you pretty good at your 16th.”

“He was?” Will frantically thought back to that day and couldn’t see it. Even knowing what he knew now. 

“Sure. So…?”

Will blushed a little. “Yeah.”

“Yeah? That’s all.”

“We’re boyfriends,” Will said, feeling a thrill as he said it. “Don’t know for how long.”

“Knowing you guys, you’ll grow old together. You’re perfect for each other.” A shout in the background. “Crap, gotta go, Will. I love you, little brother.”

“I love you too, Jonathan,” Will said, eyes wet again. 

“I’ll come home next weekend and we’ll talk. Also, I need to let Mike know that if he breaks your heart I’ll break his face.”

Will laughed. “Okay.”

“Put mom back on for a minute, will ya?”

Will handed the phone over to his mother and had to leave the room. He heard them still talking, knowing it was about him, but couldn’t handle hearing it. He’d told the three people who meant the most to him and they had accepted him. They loved him. He wondered if he had gone crazy. Could this be real? Could it be anything but the happiest dream ever? He pinched himself to be sure and yelped. 

“Will?” He heard his mother call.

“I’m fine, Mom. Just stubbed my toe.”

“Be careful, sweetie!”

“I will.” He waited until he heard her moving around. Guess the phone call was over? He laid down and tried to sketch but was too twitchy. Finally, he dug into his closet and pulled out something from long ago. Clicking the SuperComm on, he wondered what the hell he was doing. They hadn’t used these in years. 

“Mike? Mike, are you there? Over.”

Nothing. Not even static. 

He thought about trying again but just sat there and sighed. 

And then—

“Will? Is that you? Over.”

“Mike! Yes, it’s me. Sorry to bug you. Over.”

“Never. What’s up? Did you talk to your Mom? Over.”

“I did. And Jonathan. Over.”

Silence. Then, “And? Over.”

Will took a deep breath. “Mike,” he said the name so longingly, “they—“ he lost it. He started crying. 

“Will? Will! Jesus, hold on, I’m on my way over. Over and out.”

“No. Mike, it’s okay. I’m okay. Mom’s confused but she said she loves me. Jonathan said that he knew, has known for a while. About you too. Over.”

More silence then, “Jonathan knew? About both of us? Over.”

“He said he’s known about me for a while. And that you’ve been ‘sneaking looks’ at me. He said he could really tell at my 16th birthday party. Over.”

“Shit. I didn’t think I was being that obvious. Over.”

“It’s okay. Jonathan notices things. That photographer’s eye. Over.”

“And they both were fine? Over.”

Will let out a shaky laugh. “Yeah. They both said they love me. Over.”

“They do. I do. Over.”

Will panicked. “Mike! You shouldn’t say that over the SuperCom. Over.”

“I don’t care. Besides the only ones who ever use this is the Party. And they won’t care. Over.”

“Will you two shut the Hell up?” Dustin suddenly broke in. “Some of us are trying to sleep!”

Will froze. What had Dustin heard? What did he think? “Dustin?”

“Look, I’m glad everything is hunky dory and that everyone loves everyone else. Which, yeah, full explanations soon. But for now, shut up and let me sleep. I have work tomorrow. Last time I looked, so did you, Byers. Just because you’re a lazy ass doesn’t mean you get to keep people up, Mike. Over.”

“Hey! I’m not a lazy ass. Over.” Mike started to protest. 

“Dustin, we’re sorry. Go to sleep. Over.” Will said. 

“I’m off at 3:00 tomorrow. Meet at the Quarry? Over.”

“No!” Both Will and Mike shouted at the same time. 

“Um, okay. Over?”

Will let Mike speak, remaining silent. 

“My house,” Mike said. “Will? Over.”

“Your house,” he agreed. “Sounds good. I’m off at 2:00 tomorrow. I’ll be there. Over.”

“Good. Now will you two losers shut up? Over.” Dustin asked. 

“Yes, Dustin. Over.” They chorused together. 

Dustin laughed and then said, “Over and out!”

Will really wanted to say more but they’d promised. So he shut off the SuperCom. He went to his window and looked out, in the direction of the Wheeler house. “Good night, Mike,” he whispered. Then, feeling stupid but also romantic, he blew a kiss out the window. 

End

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I need to change/add to the tags
> 
> Also, yeah, original title for the series, right? (She said sarcastically.) I just couldn't think of anything better so I went with it.


End file.
